CUM KILO SALIS
I love getting up in the dark in the depths of winter.
I love watching reality TV.
I love ironing.
I love flying economy class.
I love giving the taxman my hard-earned money.
I love getting rejections for my writing.
I love phoning so-called “Helplines” and listening to canned Frank Sinatra for hours on end, whilst a recorded voice reminds me every thirty seconds that my call is “important”.
I love getting through (eventually) to someone whose accent is so thick that I could spread it on my toast.
I love the fact that the company I am phoning has contributed to the unemployment problem at home by outsourcing work to a call centre overseas.
I love Trick or Treat (which translates into English as “Give us something or we’ll vandalise your property”).
I love Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken (which once kept me awake all night when the people next door had a party).
I love Auld Lang Syne (which looks as ridiculous as it sounds).
I love the fat cat which regards my garden as its own personal toilet.
I love people who do not clean up after their dogs.
I love people who blow smoke in my face.
I love people who try to sell me things on my own doorstep.
I love people who ignore the fact that my phone number is on a national Do Not Call list.
I love people who think that they are too important to wait in a queue.
I love people who think that being old entitles them to be rude.
I love people who take other people for granted.
I love people who use the phrase “non-working mother”.I hate having a good rant.